We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize