Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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