You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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