I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i just google imaged poop.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize