Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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