"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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