ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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