Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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