$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
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My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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