The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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