butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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