if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize