just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
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It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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