Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
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I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
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I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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