when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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