people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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