so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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