I didn't shave. On purpose
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
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