sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Porn is love you can see.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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