Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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