That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i think i have herpe
just one?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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