I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
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I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
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Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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