dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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