everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize