On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize