It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
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After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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