There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
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But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
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It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
All I want is dick and wine.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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