i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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