The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize