she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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