I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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