Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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