Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize