I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
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I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
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You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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