I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize