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We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
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