a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize