just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
They have beer where we have blood.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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