we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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