Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize