I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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