New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
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And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
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