did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
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the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
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It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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