Cold hands, warm shart.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize