The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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