What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
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He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
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I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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