the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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