Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize