I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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