i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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